Giving Advice: “She never listens to me.”

"Snowflakes" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.

~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

1. Select an appropriate time and private setting to talk.

2. Ask the person whether she would like some advice or if you could tell her a story that might have some bearing on the situation.

3. Find out the person’s state of mind or point of view to make sure your advice is appropriate.

4. Remember that no one knows for sure what is best for another person. Telling a personal story has a greater effect than if you tell someone you know what’s best for her.

5. Frame your advice as a positive suggestion rather than negative criticism.

6. Don’t repeat advice. Pushiness has the opposite effect; it builds resistance.

7. Respect the other person’s autonomy. Let her decide whether or not to take your advice.

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.

~Hannah Whitall Smith

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “You never listen!”

Read “Conversation and Active Listening: ‘It seems like I do all the talking.’”

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3 Responses to Giving Advice: “She never listens to me.”

  1. Pingback: “It drives me crazy to see her repeating the same mistakes. She just won’t listen.” | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love © 2012

  2. Pingback: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: “Since he lost his job, he doesn’t seem to care about our relationship.” | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love © 2012

  3. Pingback: Conversation and Active Listening: “It seems like I do all the talking.” | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love © 2012

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