Author Archives: Alison

“My life feels out of control.”

Posted on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 by Alison

If you are facing disease, a break up of a relationship, tragic choices made by family members, or financial distress, your life can feel out of control. As a result, you can feel helpless and powerless, and become anxious, overwhelmed, … Continue reading →

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Equality in a relationship: “Why don’t you do what I tell you to do? I’m the man in this relationship.”

Posted on Saturday, May 11, 2013 by Alison

Before you wish your partner would simply obey your wishes, think about how a domineering/submissive dynamic would impact the long-term health of your relationship. A relationship based on unequal power and obedience will not grow and cannot sustain passion. Domination … Continue reading →

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“I can’t wait to go on a vacation!”

Posted on Monday, May 6, 2013 by Alison

Research shows that most of the pleasure derived from traveling is experienced in the planning and anticipation of the trip.* Planning a vacation involves imagining what you will feel like on the trip—whether relaxed and romantic, adventuresome and athletic, or … Continue reading →

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Guest Author SAM VAKNIN, PhD:
“I Hate to Fail, but I also Dread Success. What Gives?”

Posted on Monday, April 29, 2013 by Alison

GUEST AUTHOR Sam Vaknin, PhD writes: Some people rarely fail, but they are no roaring successes, either. They linger in a limbo, somewhere between minimal attainment and mediocrity. They pass, but never quite make it. They seem to fear and … Continue reading →

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Parenting: “What did I tell you!”

Posted on Tuesday, April 23, 2013 by Alison

When your child (or anyone else) admits to doing something wrong, it is very tempting to be angry and say, “What did I tell you!” It is particularly hard to resist gloating when you’re dealing with a know-it-all teenager. Yet … Continue reading →

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Intimacy:
“I want more intimacy, validation, and to feel closer to you.”

Posted on Wednesday, April 17, 2013 by Alison

Some people claim they want more intimacy. Yet what they really want is total acceptance and validation, which are antithetical to intimacy. Long-term, passionate intimacy requires that two people have a strong enough sense of self that they can have … Continue reading →

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Ending an Abusive Relationship:
“I feel guilty leaving my abusive partner, because I have compassion for him.”

Posted on Monday, April 8, 2013 by Alison

Life would be so simple if a person were either all bad or all good. However, most people, even abusive people, have some good qualities or they would not have drawn others into a relationship to begin with. Abuse in … Continue reading →

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Guest Author SAM VAKNIN, PhD:
“He Abuses Me in So Many Ways. How do I Cope?”

Posted on Friday, March 29, 2013 by Alison

GUEST AUTHOR Sam Vaknin, PhD writes: In his frantic efforts to maintain control or re-assert it, the abuser resorts to myriad of fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms. Here is a partial list: Unpredictability and Uncertainty (Intermittent Reinforcement) The abuser acts … Continue reading →

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