Category Archives: Intimacy

Intimacy:
“I want more intimacy, validation, and to feel closer to you.”

Posted on Wednesday, April 17, 2013 by Alison

Some people claim they want more intimacy. Yet what they really want is total acceptance and validation, which are antithetical to intimacy. Long-term, passionate intimacy requires that two people have a strong enough sense of self that they can have … Continue reading →

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Intimacy vs. Agreement:
“I better not disagree with his point of view, or he’ll get upset.”

Posted on Sunday, February 10, 2013 by Alison

Guessing game: Cycle of fusion People often mistake intimacy with a feeling of closeness and “being one” that comes from all-encompassing agreement and approval, similar to the feeling of falling in love. So in their quest for intimacy, they will … Continue reading →

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“Can I trust you?”

Posted on Thursday, January 10, 2013 by Alison

Trust is developed over time by observing a person’s behavior. A good indicator of trustworthiness is a person’s ability to resist immediate impulses. Take note of the following: • Does she have impulse control? • Is he able to resist … Continue reading →

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Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD:
“My Wife’s Separate Vacation Spells the Beginning of the End of Our Relationship”

Posted on Monday, November 26, 2012 by Alison

Separate vacations may, indeed, signify the beginning of the end of your relationship – or serve as a boost to its quality and durability. It all depends on several factors: 1. Topical vs. recreational vacations If your wife is addicted … Continue reading →

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Sustaining Desire:
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just watch TV.”

Posted on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 by Alison

Being compliant vs being desirable. When desire takes a back seat! The fear of being alone causes some people to pursue the security that comes from being needed rather than the vulnerability that goes with being desired. Thus, they may … Continue reading →

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“Does she like me? She doesn’t text me like she did at the beginning.”

Posted on Thursday, October 18, 2012 by Alison

It would be a miracle to find another person whom you’re attracted to and who shares the same expectations and attitude toward relationships that you do. One person may feel hurt when his texts aren’t responded to often enough. The … Continue reading →

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Opposites attract:
“Can’t you ever stop and just sit down with me!”

Posted on Wednesday, October 3, 2012 by Alison

Long-term intimate relationships bring out a person’s strengths and weaknesses and therefore can offer tremendous opportunities for growth. Development of personality traits People tend to develop certain personality traits and habits as a way to thrive in their childhood environment. … Continue reading →

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Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD:
“I Keep Choosing the Wrong Intimate Partner/I Keep Having Failed Relationships.”

Posted on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 by Alison

Romantic relationships with intimate partners (significant others) are comprised of three components: I. Mate Selection (Choice) II. Relationship Model or Hypothesis III. Termination Triggers Mate selection is critical, of course, but even more important is to ensure compatibility between the … Continue reading →

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