Tag Archives: abuse

Ending an Abusive Relationship:
“I feel guilty leaving my abusive partner, because I have compassion for him.”

Posted on Monday, April 8, 2013 by Alison

Life would be so simple if a person were either all bad or all good. However, most people, even abusive people, have some good qualities or they would not have drawn others into a relationship to begin with. Abuse in … Continue reading →

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Guest Author SAM VAKNIN, PhD:
“He Abuses Me in So Many Ways. How do I Cope?”

Posted on Friday, March 29, 2013 by Alison

GUEST AUTHOR Sam Vaknin, PhD writes: In his frantic efforts to maintain control or re-assert it, the abuser resorts to myriad of fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms. Here is a partial list: Unpredictability and Uncertainty (Intermittent Reinforcement) The abuser acts … Continue reading →

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Abusive emails from an ex:
“I keep defending myself against never-ending false, accusatory emails from my ex-husband, because I want to stay on good terms.”

Posted on Wednesday, March 6, 2013 by Alison

While it is admirable that you want to maintain a friendly relationship with your ex, you cannot do so alone; it takes two. The power of irrational attacks Insults and lies directed at you are intended to draw you in … Continue reading →

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Codependence by GUEST AUTHOR SAM VAKNIN, PhD:
Issues and Goals in the Treatment of Dependent Personality Disorder

Posted on Monday, December 31, 2012 by Alison

Guest Author SAM VAKNIN, PhD: You have been diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder (Codependence, or Codependency) and you have decided to attend therapy. Here is a brief guide to the personal issues that you should tackle and the goals that … Continue reading →

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Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD:
“Please Don’t Leave me!”

When Your Abuser Becomes Codependent

Posted on Wednesday, September 26, 2012 by Alison

Sometimes, the breakup is initiated by the long-suffering spouse or intimate partner of the narcissist or psychopath. As she develops and matures, gaining in self-confidence and a modicum of self-esteem (ironically, at the narcissist’s behest in his capacity as her … Continue reading →

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Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD
“I can’t seem to be able to protect my child from the other parent’s narcissistic bad influence.”

Posted on Wednesday, March 7, 2012 by Alison

Your child is likely to come across all kinds of people in his future. Some of them will be abusive, narcissistic, or even antisocial (psychopaths.) In a way, early exposure to a dysfunctional “bad” parent will render your child better … Continue reading →

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“I’m his biggest fan and he treats me like a slave.”

Posted on Friday, March 2, 2012 by Alison

Isn’t it curious that some people tend to become more critical, cold, and cruel with the very people who champion them the most? Why would someone treat their admirers worse than their critics? People who devalue their biggest supporters — … Continue reading →

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Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD:
“I feel bad even though the abuse has stopped.”

Posted on Friday, February 17, 2012 by Alison

So, you have mustered courage and left the abusive relationship. Why do you still feel so bad, so down, and so sick at heart? Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, … Continue reading →

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