Tag Archives: appreciation

Ignoring the Positive:
“What’s the big deal? I do a lot too.”

Posted on Monday, April 2, 2012 by Alison

Complacency often causes people to make the following types of comments: “That wasn’t very hard.” “You should see what Joan’s husband gets done on the weekend!“ “Well, that’s what a woman is supposed to do!” “I make dinner all the … Continue reading →

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“Why did she give me that gift? She knows I hate red.”

Posted on Monday, December 26, 2011 by Alison

So what I really meant was… “It’s the thought that counts. If I can’t exchange it, at least I’ll be ready for the next white elephant party.” A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as … Continue reading →

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Overgeneralization:
“You never show appreciation.”

Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2011 by Alison

Seeing patterns and generalizing from them is a crucial human skill. Scientists, business owners, and most capable people develop the ability to spot patterns in human behavior. Yet, sometimes we make sweeping generalizations that exaggerate or oversimplify reality. Taking one … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Thinking and the Brain | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Can’t take a Compliment:
“It was nothing; anyone could have done it.”

Posted on Tuesday, November 29, 2011 by Alison

When receiving compliments, consider the feelings of the people giving the compliments, not simply how comfortable you are in receiving them. They are usually attempting to make a connection or make you feel good, and like to be acknowledged for … Continue reading →

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“I feel so critical of my partner. I can’t help pointing out every flaw.”

Posted on Wednesday, February 23, 2011 by Alison

There are three important reasons to look for the positive in your partner. First, how you treat other people becomes who you are. Would you rather be understanding, supportive, appreciative and optimistic, or critical, stern, mean-spirited, and nit-picking? When you … Continue reading →

Posted in Conflict, Thinking and the Brain | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments