Tag Archives: boundaries

“I just want to get away from it all.”

Posted on Friday, March 30, 2012 by Alison

A trip out of town can ease pressure and be re-invigorating. Yet an overpowering desire to get away from it all – driven by the pressures of everyday life – often indicates a failure to set adequate boundaries. A strong … Continue reading →

Posted in Attitude, Personality Traits | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD:
Abuse Victim’s New Year Resolutions — “Things will never change.”

Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 by Alison

New year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude: their mental — and too often physical — health depends on strictly observing the following promises to themselves: 1. I will treat myself … Continue reading →

Posted in Conflict, Happiness, Relationship Skills, Vaknin, Sam PhD, Visiting Authors | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Dealing with Unwanted Advice:
“If I needed your advice, I’d ask for it!”

Posted on Friday, December 2, 2011 by Alison

So what I really meant was… “I appreciate your wanting to help, but… right now I have a strategy,” Or “…what I need right now is some time to reflect,” Or “…now is not a good time.” It takes a … Continue reading →

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Living together Part I: Manners and Boundaries —
“What’s the matter with you? Look at this mess you made!”

Posted on Wednesday, October 5, 2011 by Alison

Most of us like to come home to a place of harmony. To keep home as an oasis of peace, it helps to have manners and maintain boundaries. Here are some guidelines that work for most people. 1. Acknowledge others. … Continue reading →

Posted in Intimacy, Relationship Skills | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

“I don’t want finances to get in the middle of it because I don’t want it to get ugly, I just want to be fair.”

Posted on Wednesday, August 3, 2011 by Alison

Do not make financial decisions based on a fear of intimidation! If you do, then you will remain a victim to intimidating people. It’s a law of human nature that manipulative, self-centered people sense when they have the upper hand … Continue reading →

Posted in Conflict, Money | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Boundaries: “Hey, how’s your dinner?”—Jab of the Fork.

Posted on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 by Alison

When you take a bite of your partner’s food without asking, you are crossing a boundary. That kind of intimacy may seem romantic, but the underlying assumption of entitlement can kill passion and your relationship. Often people think that sharing … Continue reading →

Posted in Intimacy | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

“I can do it myself!! Leave me alone!”

Posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 by Alison

So what I really meant was… “No thanks. I’ll do it myself.” by Alison Poulsen, PhD

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Helpful vs. Intrusive:
“Stay away from my child, I don’t want you to help her and then say bad things about me!”

Posted on Thursday, April 14, 2011 by Alison

Helpful people are usually well-intentioned, sympathetic, and aware of the needs of others. They take pride in and draw strength from their ability to comfort and nurture others and are able to do so with ease. Being helpful can be … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Conflict, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments