Tag Archives: child

Childhood Impairment: The Family Projection Process—”What are we going to do about her? We’ve got to watch her carefully.”

Posted on Tuesday, April 26, 2011 by Alison

One way in which couples sometimes deal with their own chronic anxiety is by focusing on one of their children. The great psychologist Murray Bowen called this “the family projection process.” This process evolves unintentionally. A couple focuses on a … Continue reading →

Posted in Intimacy, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

“I found out my daughter has cancer. All I can do is cry and worry.”

Posted on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 by Alison

Feelings of fear and worry are important to get our attention in times of danger. Once we are alerted to difficulties, however, we need to harness fear and worry in favor of our personal power. The most useful powers in … Continue reading →

Posted in Attitude, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Over-mothering:
“It’s hard to be firm with my child, because he’s very sensitive.”

Posted on Wednesday, March 9, 2011 by Alison

You may be projecting your own desire to be taken care of onto your child and therefore over-mother him. Ironically, this over-protection causes increased sensitivity and anxiety in both you and the child. Life is difficult and can be challenging. … Continue reading →

Posted in Parenting, Personality Traits | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

“I’m really upset about my child being made fun of at school.”

Posted on Monday, February 21, 2011 by Alison

This weekend I attended two shows by a fantastic comedian, Brad Williams, who happens to be a dwarf. When we went for a drink with him, I asked how he became so funny. He said that as a kid, his … Continue reading →

Posted in Attitude, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Triangulation:
“My ex can’t stop complaining about me to my child. I feel like doing the same right back.”

Posted on Thursday, February 17, 2011 by Alison

This is triangulation, the purpose being to vent anxiety, not to gain insight. The worst kind involves a parent who complains to a child about the other parent, creating a lot of insecurity and anxiety in the child. Children generally … Continue reading →

Posted in Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments