Tag Archives: defensive

Communicating with “I” Statements:
“You’re wrong!”

Posted on Friday, March 9, 2012 by Alison

So what I really meant was… “I see it differently. What I understood was…” Change the “you” message to an “I” message. If you say what you currently see, think, or feel using an “I” message with an adult tone … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Overgeneralization:
“You never show appreciation.”

Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2011 by Alison

Seeing patterns and generalizing from them is a crucial human skill. Scientists, business owners, and most capable people develop the ability to spot patterns in human behavior. Yet, sometimes we make sweeping generalizations that exaggerate or oversimplify reality. Taking one … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Thinking and the Brain | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Defensiveness:
“What do you mean by that? You’re always attacking me!”

Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2011 by Alison

It is important to be able to stand up and defend yourself. However, the best defense does not involve acting defensively. Being defensive means you are overly sensitivity to criticism, and are anxious to challenge or avoid it. Unfortunately, showing … Continue reading →

Posted in Conflict, Intimacy | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Jealous Partner:
“How can you be so jealous! You’re being ridiculous.”

Posted on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 by Alison

A jealous partner may have experienced abandonment in his or her life and be easily triggered. Getting angry won’t help the situation. Try to have compassion. “You sound jealous. I want you to know you are the most important person … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Conflict | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments