Tag Archives: desire

“I can’t wait to go on a vacation!”

Posted on Monday, May 6, 2013 by Alison

Research shows that most of the pleasure derived from traveling is experienced in the planning and anticipation of the trip.* Planning a vacation involves imagining what you will feel like on the trip—whether relaxed and romantic, adventuresome and athletic, or … Continue reading →

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“We broke up because of sexual incompatibility.”

Posted on Wednesday, May 9, 2012 by Alison

Sexual attraction is one of the key reasons people start dating. As individuals get to know each other, character flaws or incompatibility may start to get in the way of a harmonious relationship. Such conflict often carries itself into the … Continue reading →

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“How could he leave me? I did everything for him.” Being needed versus being wanted.

Posted on Monday, June 6, 2011 by Alison

There are usually good intentions of love and helpfulness behind being exceptionally useful. Yet, over-functioning by “doing everything” often stems from an unconscious impulse to increase another person’s dependence on and loyalty to the relationship. All relationships involve some degree … Continue reading →

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“You never kiss me anymore.”

Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2011 by Alison

Many couples gradually stop kissing over time. This can be a sign that they no longer cherish each other, because indifference or resentment has insidiously invaded the relationship. It’s important to have frank conversations about the changes in your relationship … Continue reading →

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Desire: “I’ve got needs, but she pretends she’s asleep.”

Posted on Monday, March 21, 2011 by Alison

When you translate your desire into a need for biological gratification, it’s a turn-off. Your partner will resent feeling used to feed your self-esteem and needs. Desire out of a need to be satiated is consumptive and can never be … Continue reading →

Posted in Intimacy | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments