Tag Archives: effective communication

Equality in a relationship: “Why don’t you do what I tell you to do? I’m the man in this relationship.”

Posted on Saturday, May 11, 2013 by Alison

Before you wish your partner would simply obey your wishes, think about how a domineering/submissive dynamic would impact the long-term health of your relationship. A relationship based on unequal power and obedience will not grow and cannot sustain passion. Domination … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Relationship Skills | Tagged dominant, effective communication, equality, listening, listening skills, partnership | Leave a comment

Changing Relationship Dynamics:
“It’s too late to start telling my boyfriend to let me know when he’s coming home late because our communication patterns have already been established.”

Posted on Friday, May 25, 2012 by Alison

It’s never too late to tell a person what your needs are within the context of a meaningful relationship. These kinds of changes are important for the growth of both partners and the relationship itself. The most effective way to … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Relationship Skills | Tagged always late, always waiting, asking for what you need, doesn't call, effective communication, irresponsible, request | Leave a comment

Compassionate Confrontation:
“He said he’d spend more time with me, but has not followed through.”

Posted on Friday, April 13, 2012 by Alison

The ability to confront someone compassionately becomes essential when the other person has agreed to a behavioral change, but has not followed through. No matter how justified your anger, hostile confrontation or withdrawal will only result in more disappointment, withdrawal, … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Conflict | Tagged argument, confrontation, dealing with problems, disagreement, effective communication, relationship problems, won't change | 2 Comments

Conversation and Active Listening:
“It seems like I do all the talking.”

Posted on Monday, March 5, 2012 by Alison

We think effective communication has to do with talking, although it has much more to do with listening. Yet, it is surprising how rare and difficult it is to actively listen. We think we are listening when we are really … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Relationship Skills | Tagged active listening, Communication, effective communication, how to listen, improving dialogue, listening, never listen | 5 Comments

Overgeneralization:
“You never show appreciation.”

Posted on Tuesday, December 20, 2011 by Alison

Seeing patterns and generalizing from them is a crucial human skill. Scientists, business owners, and most capable people develop the ability to spot patterns in human behavior. Yet, sometimes we make sweeping generalizations that exaggerate or oversimplify reality. Taking one … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Thinking and the Brain | Tagged appreciation, defensive, effective communication, overgeneralizing | 7 Comments

“We always argue.”

Posted on Monday, December 5, 2011 by Alison

If you find yourself arguing with a particular person a lot, reflect upon your underlying motivations. They may be causing your discussions to turn into arguments. Consider… 1. Whether you have to be right, 2. Whether you have to prove … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication, Conflict | Tagged anger, arguments, can't get along, effective communication | 5 Comments

Living together Part 2: Fairness — “Well, I’m paying for everything!”

Posted on Thursday, October 6, 2011 by Alison

Be fair with others, but then keep after them until they’re fair with you. ~Alan Alda In addition to having manners and maintaining boundaries, being fair in what you contribute in a household makes a big difference in long-term relationships. … Continue reading →

Posted in Money, Relationship Skills | Tagged clear communication about finances, effective communication, fairness, finances, humor, living together, resentment | 2 Comments

Telemarketing:
“How would you like it if I called you at home during dinner?!”

Posted on Friday, July 8, 2011 by Alison

So what I really meant was… “I don’t want to receive any more marketing calls. Please take me off your company’s list. Have a good evening!” Click. Firmly request to be taken off the marketing list, but remember telemarketers are … Continue reading →

Posted in Communication | Tagged effective communication, setting boundaries, telemarketing | Leave a comment