Ask yourself why the other person might not be listening. Perhaps you need to preface your discussion with “Hey Bob, I’d like to get your opinion on something. Is now a good time?” Or “Alexa, I need to talk to you. Do you have five minutes?”
Communicate clearly what you’d like from the other person: their opinion, an action, an answer to a question, sympathy, or a listening ear.
You may also want to look at how you might be contributing to the pattern. Are you talking much more than half the time? Are you filling up empty space? Are you complaining a lot?
Perhaps it’s time for a silent meditation or a counseling session so that you can learn what’s underneath all the words that are being ignored. For example, are you looking for a connection that just can’t be realistically met by another person?
Something vital may be underlying the attempted and failed communication. Once you find out what that is, you may not need to perpetuate your frustrated attempts at being heard.
by Alison Poulsen, PhD