“I’m just not a sensual person.”

"Paradise Café" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

We all are born and raised with certain attributes that we cultivate through practice, experience, and life-style. If you are born and raised to be a particular way, such as practical, spiritual, or intellectual, but not sensual, it’s not too late to develop that side of yourself as well.

Carl Jung talks about the purpose of life being to “individuate,” which means to become more whole and multifaceted by developing all sides of your personality. Once we’ve survived into adulthood, we can choose to gradually develop the parts of ourselves we have neglected, whether that entails becoming more relaxed, more directed, or more sensual, for example.

Sensuality means the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of the physical, and the condition of being pleasing or fulfilling to the senses. People who don’t feel sensual can develop their sensuality in some of the following ways:

1. Pay attention to all of your senses. Take time to observe your surroundings, to smell the air, and to taste your food. Observe others—their energy and mood.

2. Pay attention to your body—how you feel and how you move. Giving and receiving massages, and practicing yoga, dance, and new sports are all ways that help you become aware of your body and touch.

3. Practice being in the moment. Notice when you start thinking about something else rather than being present in the moment. Practices such as meditation can be very helpful in becoming aware of and transforming automatic thought patterns that prevent full presence.

Sensuality allows you to enjoy your surroundings and your relationships, as well as to notice subtle energetic changes in yourself and others. You can connect better with people when your perceptions become more sensitive. As a result, your enjoyment of the moment and your relationships with other people will flourish.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “I’ve got needs but she pretends to be asleep.”

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