“I don’t want finances to get in the middle of it because I don’t want it to get ugly, I just want to be fair.”

"Meadow Wander" — Squaw Valley by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

Do not make financial decisions based on a fear of intimidation! If you do, then you will remain a victim to intimidating people. It’s a law of human nature that manipulative, self-centered people sense when they have the upper hand with those who fear intimidation and confrontation.

Moreover, people are more willing to do what’s fair when they know they are not dealing with a pushover.

Fairness is an appropriate goal, not avoiding ugliness, because the only way one person can guarantee avoiding ugliness is by being a slave to whatever the other person wants. Two people are in charge of finding a peaceful solution—not just you.

If you are a person who fears confrontation, you have to become willing to face another person’s unpleasant reactions. You can remain calm and gracious without backing down in the face of confrontation. You can’t control how someone else may react, unless you are willing to give in to all demands to appease bad behavior.

You need to be willing to set up boundaries to enjoy peace and harmony.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Pleaser and Receiver.”

Read “Dealing with Angry People.”

Related Posts

One thought on ““I don’t want finances to get in the middle of it because I don’t want it to get ugly, I just want to be fair.”

  1. Pingback: Living together Part 2: Fairness — "Well, I'm paying for everything!" | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love

Comments are closed.