This kind of thinking is a pathway to disappointment. Nobody is perfect and no relationship is all-encompassing.
You don’t have to have problems to be able to gain deeper psychological understanding and thereby improve your life and your relationships. The more insight you gain into the human psyche the more fulfilling your life can become.
You can avoid big problems by becoming more aware of your personal tendencies and relationship patterns before they lead to trouble. It’s often the people who don’t question themselves and examine human nature who become blind-sided by unexpected disaster, such as the unforeseen affair, children with addiction, or financial problems.
We’re all human, which means we all have contradictory drives and motivations striving to get our attention. For example, we want to achieve and we want to relax. We want to have fun and we want to be responsible. We want to please others and we want to follow our own heart.
By recognizing our underlying drives we can see how we unconsciously favor certain motivations — the root of many problems. We can then become more objective and exercise our real power by truly having choice. We can also be better prepared for the winds of change.
by Alison Poulsen, PhD