So what I really meant was…
“That’s an interesting point of view. How did you arrive at it?”
“Here’s another way of looking at it.”
When you put forth a genuine interest in understanding the other person and welcoming their views (without agreeing), you set the stage to offer alternative views. It becomes a lively discussion of ideas, rather than a tug of war.
People in a relationship do not need to agree on everything. An ability to discuss perspectives without hostility is key to having interesting and productive conversations. It is of particular value in problem solving.
by Alison Poulsen, PhD