Respect each other:
“He’s always talking down to me.”

"Garden of Eden" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

The most indispensable quality in a relationship is respect. When two people deeply respect each other as human beings, they can deal with a lot of challenges and differences of opinion.

The greatest threat to mutual respect is a spouse’s intense needs and fears, which often manifest themselves as controlling or demeaning behavior. While it’s fine to disagree or to be angry, there must be an underlying sense of respect for each other.

It is absolutely critical not to talk to one another disrespectfully. When one person starts speaking disdainfully, with a sneer or a sense of superiority, the other must stop it immediately. It’s up to you to make it perfectly clear that you won’t take it.

When someone goes after you like a judgmental parent, you have to set a boundary. Don’t respond to the advice or accusation. Say meaningfully, “Please, do not speak to me that way,” “Don’t do that,” or “Excuse me?”

Love based on respect requires a sense of self-respect on your part. Moreover, people who exude self-respect by stopping others from crossing a line or talking down to them are more attractive than those who accept it. Expecting respect is a more powerful aphrodisiac than unconditional positive regard.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Inner critics attract critical partners. Why does my partner criticize me all the time?”

Read “I always fall madly in love; we do everything together; and then, out of the blue, I get dumped.”

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5 thoughts on “Respect each other:
“He’s always talking down to me.”

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  4. healthy relationships

    I believe the problem is the messages in our childhood our family, if we saw respect,love, good communication that is what we are going to give in our relationships, so depdend of each person to make the change to have respect or the other.

    Thank you

  5. Pingback: "That's wrong. I totally disagree." | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love © 2011

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