“What’s with your hair? You look ridiculous!”

"You can't resist it" — Lyle Lovett by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

So what I really meant was…

“Interesting hairdo. Very creative.”

Tend to your own feelings of embarrassment rather than presiding over other people’s hair.

If someone asks for your opinion, that’s a different story. Or if you know the person is open to your opinion, go ahead and give advice, “I prefer it when you comb your hair.” But usually it’s best to allow others the autonomy to try harmless expressions of individuality that compete with the Cindy Lauper, Lady Gaga, or even Nick Nolte look, if they want to.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Boundaries: ‘Hey, how’s your dinner?’—Jab of the Fork.”

Read “I feel so critical of my partner. I can’t help pointing out every flaw.”

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