Guest Author Sam Vaknin, PhD:
Abuse Victim’s New Year Resolutions — “Things will never change.”

"Resolute" — Tamara McKinney by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life the Desire

New year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude: their mental — and too often physical — health depends on strictly observing the following promises to

1. I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me.

2. I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds.

3. I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally.

4. I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant — but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic — but I will love and care for

5. I will get to know myself better.

6. I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example.

7. If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation.

by Sam Vaknin, PhD — the excellent author of “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” and other books about personality disorders.

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Abuse Victim’s New Year Resolutions — “Things will never change.”

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