“It drives me crazy to see her repeating the same mistakes. She just won’t listen.”

"Barnegat-Lighthouse" by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire

So what I really meant was…

“I warned her. But ultimately we all have to make our own choices in life.”

It is difficult to watch a loved one repeatedly jump into situations that are bound to cause suffering. At some point we have to let go of the urge to manage other people’s affairs, even when it’s obvious that someone shouldn’t lend money to their dead-beat boyfriend once again, for example.

We certainly can have a positive impact at times, but ultimately we can’t control the choices other people make. While we can be available as a friend, people are responsible for themselves.

Individuals are in charge of their life choices, and often learn from their mistakes. As a friend, we can seek the delicate balance of giving loving advice and accepting the other’s freedom of self-determination.

Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse.

~Japanese Proverb quotes

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Giving Advice: ‘She never listens to me.’”


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One thought on ““It drives me crazy to see her repeating the same mistakes. She just won’t listen.”

  1. Caitlin

    This is such good advice, and often difficult to follow. But you are right, we all have to live our own life as we see fit and learn from our own mistakes.

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