Guest Author Sam Vaknin:
“How can you tell a TRUE friend from a FAKE one?”

"Snubhubbub" by Mimi Stuart©  Live the Life you Desire

“Snubhubbub” by Mimi Stuart©
Live the Life you Desire

A TRUE friend supports you only when he believes that you are doing the right thing in your self-interest and welfare;

A FAKE friend supports you always, no matter what you do.

A TRUE friend respects you only when you have earned respect and act respectably;

A FAKE friend “respects” you regardless of your behavior – or misbehaviour.

A TRUE friend trusts you only as long as you prove yourself trustworthy, only while you do not put his trust to the test too often, and only on certain issues;

A FAKE friend “trusts” you with everything and always.

To summarize:

A TRUE friend puts to you a mirror in which you see REALITY and the TRUTH.

A FAKE friend puts to you a mirror in which you see your own reflection, yourself and nothing else besides.

A TRUE friend loves YOU in your friendship. He loves YOU even without your friendship.

A FAKE friend loves HIMSELF in your friendship – or loves the friendship itself, but never YOU.

With a TRUE friend you need never ask: “What is he getting out of this relationship?” for loving you is its own reward.

With a FAKE friend you must always ask “Why is he still in this relationship?” for loving you is never enough of a reward.

by Guest Author Sam Vaknin, the author of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain – How the West Lost the East, as well as many other books and ebooks about topics in psychology, relationships, philosophy, economics, and international affairs. He is the Editor-in-Chief of Global Politician and served as a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, eBookWeb , and Bellaonline, and as a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent. He was the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.

Visit Sam’s Web site at

Read “I have friends who bring me down.”

Read Sam Vaknin’s “I Attract Abusers Like a Magnet.”

Read “Ten Keys to a Great Relationship: ‘The magic is gone.’”

One thought on “Guest Author Sam Vaknin:
“How can you tell a TRUE friend from a FAKE one?”

  1. Angie

    A mirror of reality would be nice, but it’s unrealistic. What you’d actually be getting is your friend’s biased opinion based on their past experiences, history, and what they believe to be in your best interest.

    Also, I personally, like to be a very supportive friend and I want that in return from my friends. I think that most people already receive plenty of criticism on a daily basis, that I find there is no need to go around pointing out our friends short comings. Of course if there is abuse involved that is a different story.

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