If asked about your past relationships, rather than starting on a diatribe of complaints, you could simply say, “We went our separate ways,” or “We grew apart.”
Grow up, don’t put down
Better yet, find a way to view your difficult relationships of the past with perspective and find a silver lining. After all, you were together for a reason and probably got something out of the relationship.
It is often through the very gridlock and troubles in a relationship that we learn who we are and what our boundaries are.
We all live and learn from experience, especially from painful episodes that cause us to grow.
There may be times when you do want to talk about a painful relationship with a close friend in order to gain insight about yourself or the relationship or to share what you have learned. Yet self-reflective conversations are very different from complaining about and belittling others. Remember to stick to the former, where your intent is to understand, grow, gain peace, and become more whole.
by Dr. Alison Poulsen