Turning a Complaint into Enticement
“We never go dancing or do anything fun anymore!”

"Dazzle" by Mimi Stuart ©
Live the Life you Desire

So what I really meant was…

“Let’s go dancing!”

Exaggeration and blame make a person feel defensive instead of accommodating. Self-pity is unattractive—definitely not a seductive way to get someone to want to go dancing with you!

When people demonstrate personal authority and show excitement, they have a lot more magnetism than when they complain. Expressing desire is more effective than expressing discontent. So communicate in a positive, irresistible way:

“I’d love it if you came dancing with me tonight/next week/every Saturday!”

If the answer is “no,” find someone else to go dancing with, go on your own, or find something you both want to do together—but express yourself in a positive way, remembering that the goal is to enjoy your time together.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “Spending Time Together as a Couple.”

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2 thoughts on “Turning a Complaint into Enticement
“We never go dancing or do anything fun anymore!”

  1. Pingback: “We never do anything romantic anymore!” | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love © 2012

  2. Pingback: “Our relationship is such hard work. The spark is gone.” | Healthy Relationships and Solutions to Happiness and Love

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