Pursuit and Distancing: Intimacy vs. Needing Space

“Why can’t we spend more time together? You always need more space!” Emotional cat and mouse The ability to have a passionate, fulfilling relationship requires that a couple balance two primary drives — intimacy and independence. If you don’t consciously balance these needs, you may wind up in the frustrating dynamic of the Pursuer and […]

“It hurts that my fiancé thinks I am smothering him. He wants me to let him catch his breath after he gets off work. I’m scared that I’m going to lose him because I’m needy or clingy.”

Love You are right. You will scare your fiancé away by smothering him. Give him the distance he needs. Love means having the self-discipline to respect the other person’s wishes and needs despite your own desires. Desiring someone is a wonderful thing. But when the feeling becomes one of overwhelming or urgent need, then it’s […]