“Sweetness” Walter Payton by Mimi Stuart ©
While some sacrifices need to be made in any relationship, giving up what you truly enjoy will only lead to resentment. It won’t enhance the passion and vitality between the two of you.
Make sure you find a balance between spending quality time together and pursuing your own passions. Your relationship will flourish if each person supports the other in pursuing their interests, while also making an effort to come together to enjoy each other on a regular basis.
Yet don’t expect you or your partner to behave perfectly. If your partner becomes controlling, be civil while expressing how important your own interests are to you. For example,
“Please don’t ask me to give up something that I truly enjoy. I’d like to watch the game without feeling guilty about it. But I really want to do something with you later when the game’s over.”
by Alison Poulsen, PhD
Related article: “Were you out on the golf course again? I’ve been here alone all afternoon.”
"Phil Mahre" by Mimi StuartLive the Life you Desire
Saying “I don’t get to” implies a lack of power and control over your own life—needing to ask for permission. It’s important in relationship that both partners continue doing the things they are passionate about. If you love skiing, make sure you get out there and go skiing and encourage your partner to do what he or she loves to do. People who pursue their passions have a vitality that is irresistible and brings magic into their relationships.
Partners don’t have to do everything together. In fact a little space can be healthy. Tell your partner how happy it makes you to go skiing. If he or she is not interested, you can go on your own to enjoy some fresh powder, groomers, or bumps.
By feeding your soul, you become more interesting and enjoyable to be around. Even if you spend a little less time with your partner, when you’re with him or her, you’ll feel more alive and have something of interest to share.
by Alison Poulsen
Watch “Pursuing your Passions in Relationship.”