Tag Archives: relaxing

Luck: “I try so hard but am usually unlucky.”

"Serendipity" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

Research shows that lucky people are more relaxed and open than unlucky people. You limit your ability to notice people and opportunities around you if you are overly anxious and concerned with doing things just so. Being relaxed, on the other hand, leads to the following essentials for good luck:

1. Awareness and curiosity: Being relaxed and open to new possibilities allows a person to notice and act on chance opportunities.

2. Approachability: Luck often originates from random encounters with other people, and being relaxed makes a person more approachable.

3. Flexibility: While trying too hard, being particular and “perfect” can lead to being inflexible, being relaxed often leads to varied and flexible life experiences. Being open to wide-ranging experiences and knowing diverse people in your life fosters creativity and openness.

There is more to being lucky than being relaxed and open. However, these qualities are key to developing creative, open thinking, which can turn incidental events into serendipitous good-fortune.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Read “The Luck Factor” by Dr. Richard Wiseman

Read “People are always criticizing me.”

Road Rage: “That blankety-blank cut me off! I’ll show him!!”

"Formula Farley" by Mimi Stuart
Live the Life you Desire

What does the way you drive say about you?

Are you a considerate driver who’ll let another driver cut in if she’s in the wrong lane? Or are you an impatient driver who tails other cars, gets angry, and swears when people cut you off or drive too slowly? Your driving could say something about your own shadow, that is, the part of you that has not been developed.

Two types of people typically feel aggressive behind the wheel. The first is someone who has trouble with simply being, always feeling impatient to get something done. This type feels a lot of pressure to get where he or she is going and to accomplish goals set.

The second is someone who hasn’t developed much personal power. When your self-empowerment lies in the shadow, it erupts in aggressive, inappropriate, or unattractive ways. When you’re in a car, you feel anonymous, and can become more aggressive without being concerned about what someone you know might think.

What can you do if you are one of these kinds of driver?

If you have trouble relaxing when you’re not productive, work on simply relaxing into the moment. Breathe deeply, listen to music, or plan an event. Replace futile thoughts such as “Look at this horrible traffic; I’m so late!” with more productive or calming thoughts, such as, “There’s nothing I can do about this now. I might as well relax/call my sister/mentally reorganize my life-goals. In a year, I won’t even remember being late. So why waste time wallowing in anxiety?”

If you are type that feels powerless in most situations in life, find ways to develop self-empowerment in situations where you are not behind the wheel. Notice when you feel meek and compliant, or when you are repressing your opinions. Try to speak up and integrate personal power in a calm and moderate way. If you develop more personal authority in your everyday face-to-face interaction with people, maybe you won’t feed the inner aggression that is waiting to explode when you get behind the wheel.

by Alison Poulsen, PhD

Watch “Expressing your Anger Effectively.”